by Rabbi Ya’aqob Menashe
Haqpadah (being overly strict) is a by-product of haughtiness. Left unchecked, it can consume one’s life and its own by-products are hatred, competition, controversy, Lashon Hara’ (lit. evil tongue) and more. Whoever is overly strict with others must know that Heaven will treat him the same way.
This character trait is part of a person’s nature that he is born with. If one is fortunate not to be a Qapdan (one who is overly strict or exacting) by nature, he must know that it is a gift from G-d. However, one who does have the trait of Haqpadah must understand that by working on oneself on a daily basis and studying the works of Mussar (lessons in character improvement) a person does have the strength and ability to change his Middoth (character).
This applies to dealings with all people, because even if the person has more honor and wealth than his neighbor, he should realize that in Heaven the opposite might be true. What is most important, however, is that a person must be careful not to be overly strict with his wife, children and those who work in his home. The evil inclination tempts a person to get angry and be severe with his household when they behave contrary to his will and he should be constantly on the guard against this.